Rachel's new start
by FreeMyMind
Summary: A sweet Samchel story. i hate summeries but its a good story.  i promise. puckleberry, and mecedes/kurt/rachel friendships.
1. Of Duets and Getting together

It started when Finn dumped her, again, for Quinn. You truly never forget your first love apparently. Rachel decided then and there she was sick of being dragged on by a boy who couldn't decide between his manipulative, shallow first girlfriend and Rachel. To Sam, this was the best news he could have gotten in a text from Kurt. You see, Kurt and Mercedes had become Rachel's best friends. Everyone in glee called them the diva squad, even Kurt's Boyfriend Blaine, who switched schools for his senior year, and Mercedes' boyfriend Matt, who recently moved back to town. Apparently Kurt had noticed Sam staring at Rachel "longingly" while she sang to Finn. Kurt promised to keep his secret as long as Sam went after Rachel once Kurt's "bumbling blathering fool of a step-brother broke up with her yet again." How Kurt knew it would happen, Sam didn't ask.

It was about 2 weeks before sectionals and Mr. Schuester was in a pickle. As he ate lunch with the newly divorced Miss. Pillsbury he got the idea. All of glee groaned when he marched in and said "it's that time again, DUETS! And this time the winning partnership gets the leads for sectionals!" cheers and gasps "AND this time I have assigned the duet partners according to vocal chemistry!", confused whispers, the list went as follows.

Finn and Quinn

Tina and Mike (this where they got confused)

Santana and Brittney

Artie and Sunshine(this is where they got suspicious)

Mercedes and Matt

Kurt and Blaine (this is when they accepted it as truth)

Puck and Jen (a new junior Puck started dating after Lauren dumped him)

…And Sam and Rachel (the only single people in glee.)

The glee kids quickly realized they were all with their significant other and were overjoyed. Rachel was just glad that she didn't end up with Finn. Sam and Kurt exchanged knowing glances. Kurt had helped Mr. Schue form the idea of letting couples sing together which of course left Sam and Rachel. Rachel then turned to Sam and asked "Do you want to come over to my house after glee so we can go ahead and get started?" Sam smiled "Sounds totally awesome. Do you need a ride?" She pursed her lips "Well, Noah did drive me to school today and I don't think he'll partially mind if I ride with you so, sure I'd love a ride."

Rachel sat in comfortable silence in the passenger seat of Sam's ancient truck. She and Sam had become close over the summer because she had started giving his little sister voice and dance lessons. In return, Sam taught her how to play the guitar. She remembered one time after a big fight with Finn, for some reason she called him.

_*flashback*_

"_Rachel, what's wrong?" he asked desperately. The blubbering girl replied "he told me I was crazy and- and -and he told me I was- was- was not thinking of him." Sam cried back "Wait, FINN said this? Why!" she gasped "he thought that I would change my mind about leaving him for New York at the end of senior year!" "Rach, where are you? Please tell me you're not driving!" "No, no, I'm at the park. He left me here." Sam had growled into the phone "stay there I'm coming to get you ok?" she nodded before remembering he couldn't see her and saying "Ok. Thanks Sam." He arrived at the park and held her and made her happy again by singing a little bit of Billionaire. That was when he realized he lov- no, LIKED her._

_* End of flashback*_

Rachel sighs and remembers how Finn apologized and she so easily forgave felt so stupid. Sam smiled and asked "so, what song do you think we should do? May I please say no Broadway? I mean, I love it but it's not my vocal style." Rachel hummed "no, I think your right. Our voices will sound lovely together on a slower sweet song I believe. But, I can't think of anything right now." Sam reached out and tapped on the radio. Seconds later, we were grinning like maniacs at each other.

It's Friday and all of the other groups have performed. The most antagonizing was Finn and Quinn's We Belong together. Rachel's self-esteem could have done without that. So far everyone had brought their a-game. Mr. Schue finally called on Sam and Rachel. He grabbed his guitar and they gently took each other's hand. The suspense in the room seemed to hang as they had let no hints of their performance slip. Then the music started.

(A/n **Rachel, **_Sam, _both. dance moves)

**Lyin' here with you so close to me **she walks away letting their hands fall.**  
>It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe<br>Caught up in this moment **she steps forward**  
>Caught up in your smile<strong> then turns her back**  
><strong>  
><em>I've never opened up to anyone<em> he steps closer and pulls her close to him_  
>So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms<br>_We don't need to rush this they hold each other for a moment  
>Let's just take it slow <span>and each step back a little<span>_  
><em>  
>Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight <span>they hold only onto a hand<span>  
>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright <span>he lets his hand slip down to her waist<span>  
>No I don't want to mess this thing up <span>she pushes up on her toes a little before <span>  
>I don't want to push too far <span>she backs up a little<span>  
>Just a shot in the dark that you just might <span>he smiles and holds out his hand again<span>  
>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life <span>she hesitantly takes it<span>  
>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight <span>he swings her into his arms and they almost kiss.<span>

**I know that if we give this a little time **she backs up and turns away  
>It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find <span>he gently turns her around again<span>  
><strong>It's never felt so real<strong>, no it's never felt so right his wraps his hands around her from behind she breaks away

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight same as before  
>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright<br>And I don't want to mess this thing up  
>I don't want to push too far<br>Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<br>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight she runs to the opposite side of the piano  
><em>I know it's time to leave,<em> but you'll be in my dreams he slowly reaches across to her  
><em>Tonight <em>he pleads with his eyes_  
><em>**Tonight **she places both her hands in his  
>Tonight <span>she walks back around<span>

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight he holds her to his chest   
>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright <span>she runs her hand between their chests and pushes away<span>  
>No I don't want to mess this thing up<br>I don't want to push too far she steps closer and wraps her arm around his waist again  
>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<br>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life he strokes her cheek  
><em>So baby I'm alright<em>, oh, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight they rock back and forth  
><strong>With a kiss goodnight<strong>  
>Kiss goodnight <span>they stop with her head in the crook of his neck.<span>

For a second it's quiet and then everyone except Finn and Quinn is cheering wildly. Mr. Schue smiles and claps as they sit down. "Ok! Well done everyone! It's time to vote. And remember no voting for yourselves!" Rachel smiles at Sam and Kurt nudges her with a raised eyebrow. She lets her hair fall in front of her face to hide her blush. Puck elbows Sam and whispers "Don't let her go man. She deserves a good guy like you." Then they all vote. The room is then filled with silent anticipation. Rachel feels her heart race. Sam's stomach churns. Mr. Schue stands grinning. "The winners, with 12 votes, are… SAM and RACHEL!" the room cheers and Rachel screams "OHMYGOD! About a hundred times until Sam grabs her in a tight hug and spins her around.

The next morning when Sam finally rolls out of bed at the crack of noon, it's with a smile. He and Rachel are the new leads of New Directions. A bright idea hits his head and within 20 minutes he's out of the house and on his way to Rach's. She answers the door with a plain grey tank top and a pair of jean shorts. Her hair is pulled into a sloppy bun and her makeup is nonexistent. Rachel can't believe she decided to be frumpy today. Since Kurt's midsummer makeover, she's actually been up to date on fashion trends, and today of all days she's frumpy. Sam thinks she's never been more beautiful. "Sam, what's up?" He shrugs, a goofy grin on his face "Are you doing anything today?" She shakes her head. "My dads are out of town until next Thursday, so I was just gonna clean up around the house. Why?" Sam leans on the wall "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today? We could go to the park or something." He hastily adds "to celebrate our win" She grins "I'd love that. Let me go get dressed. Come on in." Rachel ran up stairs and texted Kurt that she had to cancel plans to get their nails done. Then in record speed she changed and put on a little makeup. She smiled as Kurt's picture came up on the caller I.D. "You better tell me why you would cancel our regular nail appointment right now, Miss Berry." Rachel walked down the stairs. "Sam came over and wanted to celebrate our win. So we-"Kurt cut in "oh my gaga, you have a date with Sam Evens?" Rachel heard Sam just around the corner and hissed "Its NOT a date Kurt. I'll call you later" and hung up on Kurt's protests. She smiled at Sam. "Ready to go" She hoped he hadn't heard any of that. Sam smiled and held out a hand. He smiled knowing she had cancelled plans with her best friend to hang with him.

They ended up at Sam's family's new apartment watching Avatar. When Sam found out Rachel had never seen it, he wouldn't stop talking in Na'vi until she agreed to watch it. They sat on Sam's couch Rachel curled up like a little cat. At the end o the movie, Rachel smiles at Sam and says "that was…" he waits expectantly "HORRIBLE" he stares at her dumbfounded until she starts to giggle. He laughs and reaches out and starts to tickle her. She squirms beneath him laughing furiously. He jokingly orders her "take it back." She gasps "I take it back I take it back." He stops tickling her but remains hovering over her. Sam thoroughly considers kissing her. Rachel considers it to. Then they remind themselves they're just friends. Sam's front door springs open and Stevie runs in screaming about his sister stealing his toy. Rachel sighs "maybe I should be getting home." Sam regretfully agrees.

The next Monday Rachel walked in to see Sam waiting at her locker. "Hey." She kisses him on the cheek. "Hey." He grins semi-deviously. "So, a certain petite brunette left a rhinestone studded phone in my truck and this girls best friend wouldn't stop texting her." He pulls the phone out and holds sit just above her grasp. "Does she deserve it back?" Rachel gasped and started jumping for it. "Samuel David Evens give me my phone back!" he just laughs "I don't think so. Not until you ask nicely." Puck walks up behind Sam and smacks his head and hands Rachel her phone. "Thank you Noah." Sam sends him a dirty look. The warning bell rings and Rachel gasps, "Oh no! I have to get to class. See you in English Sam. Noah, please try and show up to Pre-Cal today. I get lonely." The two boys laugh and go to their first class. Sam glances back over his shoulder at the girl who had just tightened her grip on his heart a little bit more.

At football practice later that day, the inevitable comes. Finn confronts Sam as they enter the locker room, "dude, what's going on between you and Rach?" Sam snaps back "Dude, I think you lost the privilege to ask that when you broke up with her. And I'm not your 'dude'" Finn automatically and predictably bows up "Hey! Don't talk to me like that. I have every right to be concerned about her. I still" "Don't you say you care about her. This needs to stop." Finn gets in Sam's face "you don't know what the hell you're talking about Evens. Rachel is and always will be mine." Sam shoves him "Then why are you with Quinn! You CAN'T have both. Now back off My Girl before I convince her to get a restraining order." That's when Finn punches him. By the time Bieste breaks it up Finn is sporting a black eye, a broken nose and a split lip and Sam has bruises all over his cheeks and a black eye of his own." Rachel, who was waiting for Puck to give her a ride home, runs into the room and quickly pulls Sam out, "What in the name of God was that Sam?" He huffs "Hudson had it coming." Rachel sighs "let's get you some ice. Then I want the full story"

And that's how Sam ended up sitting on the Berry's kitchen counter holding a humongous icepack on his face. Rachel stood in front of him, arms crossed, waiting for him to tell her the story. Sam sighs, knowing how stubborn she can be. "He decided that you are his and always will be. So I told him, I told him that he couldn't have you and Quinn both and he needed to, um, I believe the words were back off before you get a restraining order. Or something likes that." Rachel groans and whispers "who threw the first punch" Sam answers to quickly "Finn" she gives him the evil-eye and he sighs "I may or may not have shoved him" Rachel swears lightly "Sam, please, for me, try not to get into any more fights, Especially over me. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." Sam slides of the counter "I'm sure you can but everyone needs someone to look after them." He gently runs his hand down her cheek "Let me be the one who takes care of you." Rachel stares up at the taller boy. "Sam, are you…" he grins slightly and green eyes hold brown "Rachel, will you go out with me? Please?" Rachel gulps slightly "Promise me that you really mean it. I refuse to have my heart broken again" Sam gently brushes some hair out of her face "I promise" She murmurs "yes." Sam closes what little space there is left between them in a kiss gentle enough not to hurt Sam's already sore face.

In Rachel's first period class the next day Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Brittney grab the back group of desks and force Rachel, who likes the front of the class, to sit with them. Kurt starts the interrogation "Why did you walk in to school on the arm of one Samuel D. Evens? And then kiss him before walking in here?" She blushes "oh, um well we're kinda dating now." After all of them did the mandatory squeal, Mercedes is next "And your saying, me and Kurt had to find out our fellow diva is dating that fiiiiiine white boy at the same time as the rest of mc-stupid high school." "Well, he didn't leave until late last night. I didn't want to wake you." Kurt gasped "Oh. My. Gaga. You didn't" Rachel blushes furiously "NO. No. nonononono. We just watched a movie. It was all g-rated." They all pout. Mercedes mutters something about "dang white girl getting my hopes up". Brittney pipes up "is a good kisser?" Rachel blushes and answers "Lets just say its more like tasty lips than trouty lips" they all laugh, then Tina gasps "so the fight Mike texted me about, the one in the locker room, was that before or after you got together?" Kurt and Mercedes both start to freak-out again "who fought! When!" I glare at the pretty Asian. "Sam may or may not have fought on not-so-friendly green giant _before_ we got together." And that's what they chatter about the rest of the period. I send on text to Sam **help me. It's the Spanish inquisition. ** He replied **want me to rescue you? Lol** She giggled and said **just wait until they get their claws into you then we'll see who's laughing.**

Rachel's heart drops when she can't find Sam before glee practice that afternoon. Then Mr. Schue tells them to get in the auditorium and Kurt and Mercedes Start to whisper about what song Sam's going to sing to Rachel. Sure enough when they walk in Sam is standing on stage and grinning hugely. He Speaks into the mic "this song is for Rachel, My girlfriend." She hears a deep voice gasp behind her. Then Quinn asks" Finn, what's wrong?" and Sam started singing

It's too late baby, there's no turning around

I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud

This is how I do

When I think about you

I never thought that you could break me apart

I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart

You want to get inside

Then you can get in line

But not this time

Cause you caught me off guard

Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

I won't try to philosophize

I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes

This is how I feel

And it's so surreal

I got a closet filled up to the brim

With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons

And I don't know why

You'd even try

But I won't lie

You caught me off guard

Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on

Never felt so good to be so wrong

Had my heart on lockdown

And then you turned me around

I'm feeling like a new born child

Every time I get a chance to see you smile

It's not complicated

I was so jaded

And you caught me off guard

Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)

And I feel a weakness coming on

Never felt so good to be so wrong

Had my heart on lockdown

And then you turned me around

(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)

I'm feeling like a new born child

Every time I get a chance to see you smile

It's not complicated

I was so jaded

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)

And I feel a weakness coming on

Never felt so good to be so wrong

Had my heart on lockdown

And then you turned me around

(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)

I'm feeling like a new born child

Every time I get a chance to see you smile

It's not complicated

I was so jaded

Sam started walking down on the 2nd last verse and finally stood in front of her and kissed her at the end of the final chorus.


	2. Of sweeny todd and first fights

A/n I was just watching a video performance of Blaine Singing To Kurt somewhere only we know SO SWEET! If you think I should write a Klaine story put it in a review. If you don't, still do the same. Also, SAM ISN"T RETURNING TO GLEE! I'm so mad! At least RRachel might come

Rachel POV

I hate him. I hate Finn Hudson. I hate Quinn Fabray even more. I can never just be happy can i! Sam and I finally get together, and they have to mess with us. First, Quinn decides that she wants Sam back, and asks him out again, while I stand next to him! Sam was smart enough to ignore her. NOW, I have Finn following me around. He's so ungraceful I could hear him clomp around from a mile away. At least I finally have my last two classes with Sam. He greets me outside my locker with a kiss and I grin. I don't know if it was how sweet he is or how he actually cares about me but I can't imagine being without him. He asks me how my day was and I sigh. As we walk to English, he takes my books and then my now free hand. "What's wrong?" I glance behind me and someone tall with dark hair and squinty eyes ducks behind a locker. "I have a stalker" Sam growls, like literally growls and I can't help but giggle. "I'll deal with him." I stare him down "no you won't. I need you to sing with me tomorrow at regionals, not suspended for a fight. Has Quinn …?" I let the question trail off. Sam squeezes my hand. "How about if I stop worrying about Finn, you quit worrying about Quinn? They are our pasts, you are my present and future, at least I hope. You might have finally realized you're too good for me." I laugh as Noah dunks Sam's head down. "Don't you forget it, Evans. That's one hot Jew you got there." I gently chastise the mohawked boy "Noah, be nice to Sam. He makes me happy." Noah shrugs, "If you say so Berry," and goes into the classroom. Of course the last two exchanges happed in Hebrew, as I have recently been told to make Noah practice by Mama Puckerman, who is a very scary lady. Sam looks down at me "What just happened?" I smile at him. "I just told him to be nice as you make me happy." Sam smirks. "Oh, I do?" I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him gently. "Yes, very happy."

After glee that day, Sam and I have a very important date. It's time for him to meet the parents. He drops me off and whispers "are you sure they'll like me?" I laugh and lean into his chest. "I'm sure that they'll like you a lot more than they liked Finn. My dad asked me if I was with him because I was pregnant. They couldn't figure out why I wanted to be with him. Looking back, I can't either." Sam smiled at me. "Can you figure out why you're with me?" I smile and glance him over. "You know I can't put my finger on it. It may be your abs; it may be your voice; it might be how you treat me so wonderfully. It might even be that you seem to think you're the lucky one in this relationship. I just don't know." Sam leans over and kisses me. I grin. Its 4:15 now. My dads won't get home until 5:15ish with the take out. I grab Sam's hand and we run into the house.

When my dads walk in, Sam and I have Sweeny Todd (a/n 3) playing. (Which it had been, we just had only been watching it in between make outs.) Daddy laughs and I spring up out of Sam's lap. "That's a funny choice for a movie to watch with your date" I giggle and Sam relaxes a little. Dad and Daddy go to the kitchen to set the table. I plop back down on Sam's lap and bounce a little. His hands grab my hips and he kisses my neck, "you're a little tease." Dad calls in "dinners ready!" I blush and stand up again. Sam stands up and stretches like a cat. I can't help but think how hot he is. He cathches me staring and gives me a silly smile. "I can't impress your dads by making out with you so stop looking at me like that." I sigh and lead him into the dining room.

After dinner and after Sam thoroughly charmed my dads, we slip into my room. I have to leave the door open but right now I think we're more going to talk. My thoughts are confirmed when Sam sits on the floor instead of next to me on the bed. We hold hands and talk nonsense about regionals and our prom plans. This year they're only a week apart. He asks to see my dress and I agree, laying it out on the bed. I go to my jewelry box and pull out the necklace I plan on wearing and Sam stands behind me to get the full view. I turn and see his eyes have caught o something in the open drawer. (A/n I don't know if she got rid of it or not but for now lets say she didn't) He pulls out my Finn necklace. "Why do you still have it?" He's mad. I can hear it in his voice. "I forgot about it." He snaps "DON'T you lie to me" I snap back. "I'm NOT. I honestly forgot I had it. I'll give it back to him tomorrow." He stares at me, hurt evident in his eyes. "This is what I've been worried about. That jerk has some sort of power over you. You always go back to him no matter what wrong he does. This is just more proof to that. I thought I'd finally found the perfect girl." I look at him incredulously "Sam, please, what do I have to do to prove to you that it's nothing." He sighs, "You know Rachel, I don't know. I need to go home. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school." And then he's gone. For some reason, this hurts more than any of your fights with Finn.


	3. Of reunions and Regionals

Rachel POV. (I like this so the rest of the story will be in Rachel's POV)

Noah drives me to the school so we can get on the bus to regionals the next morning. He doesn't ask why I'm not riding with Sam. I assume because Kurt or Cedes told him. I tried to call him and text him last night but he didn't answer. I finger the delicate chain in my pocket. I need to make this right.

The bus is small with a total of 10 seats for 2 people each. In the back, I see Santana and Brittney in one, and Artie and Sunshine by the other. Kurt's sitting with Blaine, Mercedes with Matt, Tina and Mike, and Puck, who was devastated after Jen's family moved to Georgia, was sitting with Sam. That left one seat taken by the teachers, and one by arties wheel chair. i saw she was left with 2 options, Sitting with Quinn or Finn. I see Sam waiting to see my decision. He is sitting directly behind Finn. I use this to my advantage. Perching barely on the edge of the seat, I sit down next to Finn. A whispered curse barely hits my ears. Finn grins idiotically. "Hey Rach." I smile. "Hey Finn. Listen I need to talk to you." H grins even bigger "yeah you want to get back together right?" I speak louder. "No, **never**. In fact I need to give this back to you." I place the little golden necklace in his hand. "But it's yours Rachel. It tells everyone your mine." "Finn, I used to be yours. I used to follow you around blindly. I used to think you were my world. But now I see no one owns me. Not you, not anyone." He nods. "Well you still love me yes" I shake me head and remind my self to use small words "Finn, you were the one to make me see that I can be loved but you don't love me. And I never loved you. I'm really in love now and its not a feeling of desire or a feeling that you matter more than anyone else, though they are parts of it. When you find someone you love, it's like finding that one perfect jacket. It fits you so perfect, feels so good, why wear anyone else. I have found that. His kisses feel right, his voice fits so well with mine, everything we do is made to balance each other out and match each other. Why would I want anyone else?" Finn retardedly states "and you're saying that's not me." I sigh. "NO. It's Sam. He's all I'll ever want in a guy and more." By now I'm talking so loud the whole bus hears and ever Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury are watching. I stand to go sit with the wheel chair and see Sam sliding out of his seat. He hugs me, which is what I need, and whispers in my hair. "Is that really how you feel about me?" I grin and say, "YES. Please Sam." He slowly grins and our lips meet in a gentle embrace. The cheering of our spectators pulls me out of Sam world. I see Noah's moved to sit with Finn and I sit down with Sam, content to relax into his embrace and occasionally look up and have him kiss me. However I feel a slight problem. I just publically announced I loved him, and he hasn't said it back.

We watch The Warblers perform and they are missing Blaine's easy charisma and leadership. Vocal Adrenaline never found someone to match Sunshine and their performance falls flat. As we perform, I see everyone getting on the stage. Just before Sam and I go to the doors at the back. I think of all that happened here and sigh. Its time to perform though and Rachel Berry never backs down from a performance. The strands start and Sam starts.

(A/n **SAM, **_Rachel_, both,)

**I run from hate, I run from prejudice  
>I run from pessimists, but I run too late<strong>  
><em>I run my life or is it running me, run from my past<br>I run too fast or too slow it seems_

When lies become the truth  
>That's when I run to you<p>

_This world keeps spinning faster  
><em>Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby  
><strong>When it all starts coming undone<strong>  
>Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you<p>

We run on fumes, your life and mine  
><strong>Like the sands of time slippin' right on through<strong>  
><em>And our love's the only truth<em>  
>That's why I run to you<p>

_This world keeps spinning faster_  
>Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby<br>**When it all starts coming undone**  
>Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you<p>

_Whoa, oh_, **I run to you**

This world keeps spinning faster  
>Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby<br>When it all starts coming undone  
>Baby, you're the only one I run to, <em>I run to you,<em> _I run to you_, **yeah**

_Whoa, oh, I run to you_  
><strong>I run to you girl<strong>, **whoa**

**I always run to you**  
><em>Run to you,<em> run to you

The crowd burst out in applause and I hugged Sam briefly while the next song started. This one was a group number with Santana and Britt dueting the first chorus, me and Sam the second. We end with Taylor Swifts "Long Live"

I still remember this moment  
>In the back of my mind (Rachel)<br>The time we stood with our shaking hands  
>The crowds in stands went wild (Sam)<p>

We were the kings and the queens  
>And they read off our names (Kurt)<br>The night you danced like you knew our lives  
>Would never be the same(Santana)<p>

You held your head like a hero  
>On a history book page(Puck)<br>It was the end of a decade  
>But the start of an age<p>

Long live the walls we crashed through (All)  
>While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you<br>I was screaming, long live all the magic we made  
>And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered<p>

I said, remember this feeling  
>I passed the pictures around (Finn)<br>Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines  
>Wishing for right now (Sunshine)<p>

We are the kings and the queens  
>You traded your baseball cap for a crown (Blaine)<br>When they gave us our trophies  
>And we held them up for our town (brittney<p>

And the cynics were outraged  
>Screaming, this is absurd<br>'Cause for a moment a band of thieves  
>In ripped-up jeans got to rule the world (artie)<p>

Long live the walls we crashed through (all)  
>While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you<br>I was screaming, long live all the magic we made  
>And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid<p>

Long live all the mountains we moved  
>I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you<br>I was screaming, long live the look on your face  
>And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered (all)<p>

hold to spinning around  
>Confetti falls to the ground<br>May these memories break or fall (Rachel)

And you take a moment  
>Promise me this<br>That you'll stand by me forever  
>But if God forbid fate should step in (Mercedes)<p>

And force us into a goodbye  
>If you have children someday<br>When they point to the pictures  
>Please tell them my name (Santana)<p>

Tell them how the crowds went wild  
>Tell them how I hope they shine (Rachel)<p>

Long live the walls we crashed through  
>I had the time of my life with you (Sam)<p>

Long, long live the walls we crashed through (all)

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you  
>And I was screaming, long live all the magic we made<br>And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid

Singing, long live all the mountains we moved  
>I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you<br>And long, long live the look on your face  
>And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered<p>

The crowd went insane and we bowed. Within what seems like seconds, we're standing with the other groups hoping for our second shot at nationals. Sam grips on hand tightly while Kurt squeezes the blood out of my other. Then, I hear our name being called. I jump into Sam's arms and wrap my legs around his waist. He swings me around and then carries me off stage. I leap down and grin up at him. He whispers something in my ear I don't hear as the rest of new directions run hooting and hollering down the stairs. He leads me into closet and says "I just won my full ride to NYU." I gasp "Sam, are you for real?" he grins and nods the scout told my parents that they couldn't let me in with just a sports scholarship. So we made an agreement that sports would pay for ½ and music for the other half, if we made it to nationals. "Why didn't you tell me?" he strokes my cheek, "I didn't want you to worry." I grin and kiss him. Then before I can stop myself "Do you love me?" he stares at me confusedly, still grinning "what?" I start to get nervous and blather " firsttimeItoldyouandnowi''- mmmm" he cut me off with a sweet kiss. "You need to give me chance to answer, babe. I want it to be romantic when I first tell you not a bus with all our friends or in a closet. I want to do everything right with you. But yes, you fit me quite nicely." I smile and blush at my insecurity. I smile and lay my head on his chest. He starts humming just a kiss and we do a little slow dance. He stops and whispers "I'm sorry I freaked out so bad last night. I just can't bear to think of you with Finn again." Suddenly the door Is ripped off the hinges and Noah's standing there. "Damn man I expected you to at least be to second base. You ain't even kissing. Bunch of freaking prudes"

**a/n okay, I want to keep this going for a little while longer but only If I get positive input. Anyway, if you guys have a suggestion or two for songs for nationals I'd love the help. In the next chapters I'm going more into the friendships and the relationship will just be a back flavor. Also read my new Harry potter story Out of the Ashes. pleeeeease**


	4. Author's Note

Hey this is just an authors note

I won't be able to write for a while cause of people staying with my family. However, I have the next chap. almost done. However I have seen how many people have put this one their favorite authors/ stories list. I NEED HELP. I want a song like Songbird, which Santana sang to Brittney, for Sam to sing to Rachel. I also need some epic songs for nationals including a duet, potential solo, and group number. I am just getting in school and the teachers are piling on home work and I'm in a lot of after school activities and if I spend all my time looking for songs, I won't get any writing done. So, PLEASE help.

Much appreciated,

Free My Mind


	5. Of Joanna and I love yous

It's the night before prom and Kurt, 'Cedes, Santana, Tina, and Brittney are sleeping over. We have a full spa day planned out for tomorrow and since the Dads are out of town again we decided to sleep here. Other than Santana and Brit, none of us are supposed to see, talk to, or text our dates before they pick us up. It was Kurt's idea of a way to make prom even more special. But then Sam started testing me while we were painting nails.

**Hey babe how's girls night ;)**

**Good. I miss you.**

**We could get breakfast tomorrow night, if you're willing to sneak out. **

I made the mistake of giggling and Kurt snatches my phone. "Oh no Miss Berry. You're not gonna dare sneak out" everyone laughs and then Kurt grins deviously. "I say we give Sammy boy a little call." I cry "No!" then Santana tackles me and claps a hand over my mouth. Kurt puts the phone on speaker. Sam picks up. "Hey babe. What's up? You sneaking out?" Kurt answers "Samuel D. Evens." Sam chuckling swears into the phone. "What did you do with Rachel?" Kurt waggles his eyebrows "Rachel Berry is now a prisoner of the … Sexy Divas and will be returned to you tomorrow just before prom looking positively fantastic. No sooner. Mwahahaha" if Sam was here, I'm sure he'd be rolling his eyes. "Fine. Is Rachel there?" Kurt nods at Santana and she releases me. I quickly grab the phone and turn off speaker. "Hey." "I'll see you soon Rach. Have fun with… whatever you girls are doing." I smile "Bye Sam." We hang up and Kurt says "give me the phone." I sigh and let him put my phone in the deep recesses of his Alexander McQueen bag.

An hour later we play truth or Dare. Kurt has a glob of ketchup smeared on his cheek (Brittney's idea) and he's muttering about how bad the acid is for his skin. He smiled at me. "Rachel, truth or dare?" I quickly say "truth" Tina leans over and whispers in his ear. He nods happily. "Who's the best kisser, Finn, Puck or Sam?" they all laugh and Santana reminds me "I'll know if you lie, girl" I put my hands in my head and groan. "Ugg! Well, NOT Finn. He was always all clumsy and possessive. And Noah was experienced and felt kinda like it wasn't kissing. It was always more. So Sam for sure." They all groan and toss their pillows at me." I stare around the group and look for my victim and hear,

"I hear you, Joanna. Do they think that walls can hide you?" we all crowd around my open window and I lean out. "I am in the dark beside you. Buried sweetly in your raven hair" I call out "what are you doing here!" Sam calls back "it's called a break out and you're not doing it right. You were supposed to run outside!" I turn and Cedes says "don't you dare. I don't get to see matt either." An idea springs into my head and I move onto the window sill. He yells "NOT THAT WAY" but my window is only about 12 or 13 feet off the ground and Sam's well over 6 feet tall. I grin and yell "Catch me" I hear everyone in my room all scream "NO" but I'm in Sam's arms and we coast to the ground. He looks at me. "You are absolutely insane, Berry." I smirk and stand. "You know it." Brittney calls down "Are you guys still alive?" I answer "Nope." And the pretty blonde leans back in and I hear her say "Rachel says she and Sam are dead." I giggle and Sam pulls me back to lie next to him. We stay on the ground beneath the tree outside my window. His hand slides up and down my side and he sings the remaining words to Joanna to me. At the end I whisper "I always thought that they gave it a happy ending." He looks at me, a concerned expression on his face "do I need to get you to a doctor." I laugh "no. I'm serious. I always imagined that they did manage to get out of London and get married. I imagine they had several kids and lived happily ever after. I like to think every story has a happy ending." He kisses right above my ear "even when you have every reason to think that they would fail, you think they'll live happily ever after. Its sweet." "if the glass isn't half full its not worth looking at." I roll over on top of him and press my lips to his adam's apple. He smiles and whispers "I love you." I grin and figure, this truly was the perfect time to hear it. "I love you too." We get about 10 minutes of silent peace before his pocket starts buzzing against my hip. I shift so he can get it and he sighs. "I gotta get home." He helps me up and walks me back to my front door. Kurt opens the door and grabs my arm. "Hi Sam! Bye Sam!" Once inside the door I'm pounced on. "Rachel Berry! Tell me what happened. Did you finally get it on?" I blush and squeak "NO!" Kurt purses his lips "It totally wasn't worth it then." I smile "Yeah, it was. He told me he loved me." Kurt Jumps up and down in a little happy dance. We enter my den and I see everyone watching to my surprise, Sweeny Todd. Brittney's head is deep in Santana's shoulder and Mercedes is pale. Kurt whispers "some of them had never seen it." I am shocked but sit down in between tina and Santana for the remaining 45 minutes or so of musical, bloody wonderfulness.


	6. Of Friends and Prom Prep

We finally wake up about 11:00 the next morning. I get up and start cooking pancakes as brunch with some help from Tina. She smiles at me "How are you and Sam doing?" I mix some vanilla into the batter while I tell her about last night. "What about you and Mike?" She smiles and says "He wants to get an apartment together when we go to college." "That's so cool. I hope Sam and I stay together as long as you two have. It's almost 2 years now, right?" She nods. "You know the way you described love on the bus to regionals? That's how we feel about each other. But you know why I think we lasted so long? We don't let the little things bother us. He almost made me break up with him because he was jealous over what Artie and I used to have. That's when we decided drama had no place in our relationship." I am surprised. I thought Tina and Mike stayed together so long because they were both simple people. "that's a really good idea. Tina?" she smiles at me "Yeah?" "I'm really going to miss you when this year is over. Promise me we won't lose touch." Tina's grin widened to the tenth degree. "Of course. Now go get the non-morning people and tell them foods ready."

After this we all took turns in the 3 showers in the house. I finished first and sat in my bedroom looking through last year's yearbook. In the back I had 13 signatures. Finn had written "I love you." Sam had signed it "Can't wait for next year." And there was a heart next to his name. Santana came in drying her hair with a towel and sat next to me. "Wow, things sure have changed." She had written "bye berry." I remembered how we became friends.

*_flashback*_

_Half way through the summer I opened my front door and saw Santana. She smiled forcedly at me. "Hey be- Rachel. Are your dads home?" I wrinkled my brow at her "uh, yeah why?" Daddy came up behind me "Ah Santana come on in." her and my dads enter our den and I go to run upstairs and Santana calls out in a semi-choked voice "No, Rachel please stay." I slowly return and sit on the other end of the sofa. She looks at Dad and asks "How old were you when you realized you were, um, gay?" I stared at the Latina but my Dad answered. "Hiram and I had known each other since high school, we were good friends. When we went to college, we were exposed to Gays more than we were in our sleepy little Missouri town. At home we were constantly told being gay was a sinful choice. We went to college out on the west coast and we learned that being gay is not wrong nor a choice. You are born this way and it's no more shameful to be gay than it is to have blue eyes or be red-haired. About halfway through our freshman year, I realized that I was gay. I told Hiram and he told me he'd known he'd known since he was about 5. His mother made him keep it quiet because back then, it was worse than now for gays. Sometimes it's like that though. Some don't realize it until they're older while some know from a young age and just don't acknowledge it. But once you know it, it is not something you need to hide. When you called you said only one other person knew. Well now, you have 4 people. And from what I know about your glee club, they won't turn their backs on you because of your sexual orientation." I took me a second to realize what this conversation meant. I extended a hand to her. "Santana, I am glad you trusted me. I won't tell anyone until you are ready." She surprised me by pulling me into a hug. "How can you be so nice to me?" I grin "because glee is a family and that makes you my sister. No one will hurt my sister."_

_*end of flashback*_

I grin at San, "Yeah, now you aren't a bitch!" She smacks my arm and then smiles. "I can't believe I didn't come out sooner."I see she needs a minute alone and I get up and go check on Kurt. I pass Brittney on my way out and think "maybe she didn't need to be alone she needed to be alone with Brit."

Kurt is putting the finishing touches on mine and Mercedes make up when he casually says "I got accepted to Julliard." I gasp "CONGRATULATIONS!" he smiles "shhh. What about you miss diva? Did you get your letter yet?" I shake my head. "But I got one for NYU. Sam's got a full ride there." Mercedes pouts "You guys are going to New York and I'm gonna be in Seattle. I hate that I won't be able to see you everyday anymore." I laugh "Cedes, we can skype and text and stuff. It's not like this is the 50's or something where we basically won't ever see each other again." She laughs and lays her head on my shoulder "yeah, I guess your right. But we have to agree to talk everyday!" Kurt brushes his powder brush off her nose "like we'd do anything else!" we laugh together.

Finally we are all slipping into our dresses. Santana is wearing a black skin tight knee length strapless dress and has her hair in a tight bun. Brittney is wearing a hot pink floor length flowing dress and her hair hangs long and loose down her back. The doorbell rings and they link pinkys before running down stairs to get it. Kurt calls out "line up for final wardrobe check" He sends Tina down in her mermaid style purple gown after pinning back an extra curl into her bun. Mercedes gets a simply fabulous in her emerald green gown. Finally he turns to me "am I ok?" I examine his solid black tux and immaculate hair and nod. He kisses my cheek and goes down. I wear a short turquoise dress and my hair is curled and pinned up semi loosely into a bun (like in the lady gaga episode first season). I slowly go down the stairs and see everyone caught up in pinning each others corsages on. I finally meet Sam's eyes and his jaw is lightly dropped. He pins my white corsage on the top of my dress and I slip a matching rose in his boutonniere. Then I take out my camera for the mandatory stiff and awkward pictures. I wink at Sam and turn off the flash and start taking random un-posed pictures. Finally Matt catches me and starts taking some of me. I laugh and run away into Sam's chest. He grins "make sure you get this one Matt." And then he gently lifts my lips to his. I quickly slip into Sam world and intensify it. They all hoot and holler and then a horn outside beeps. We all run out to the limo. Sam holds me back a second and says "I got you this. For our 6 months." He fastens a silver and diamond bracelet on my wrist. I smile. "You really didn't have to. Prom is enough." He kisses my forehead. "don't even think about it."


	7. Of Sweet Songs and divettes

**A/n I just want to thank the following for song ideas I used in this chapter. 1 anonymous. 2. BroadwayTheatreGleek 3. rainthenrainbows and this is a nice long chappie due to the songs. Just a warning. Drama will rear its ugly head next time you hear from me. Ps I own glee, mark salling (yum) and my own college. At least in my dream world I do. You should join me there.**

Glee's doing the music again this year at prom and Quinn is already up there singing when we walk in. We all find a table with an empty seat for Noah. Once Quinn's set is over I see someone tall and gangly getting on the stage. Finn looks nice in the same suit he wore to prom last year. He sings a couple of top 40 songs and then just before the dj takes over for half an hour, I hear him start a familiar song.

Katie, don't cry, I know  
>You're trying your hardest<br>And the hardest part is letting go  
>Of the nights we shared<br>Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting  
>But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright<br>And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but I want it so

Let's not pretend you're alone tonight  
>(I know he's there)<br>You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
>(while across the room, he stares)<br>I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
>And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes<p>

Because these words are never easier for me to say  
>Or her to second guess<br>But I guess  
>That I can live without you but<br>Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all I hoped I'd find  
>In every single way<br>And everything I could give  
>Is everything you couldn't take<br>Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away  
>And the hardest part of living<br>Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something  
>I just haven't found it yet<br>But I need it

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
>(I know he's there)<br>You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
>(while across the room, he stares)<br>I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
>And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes<p>

Because these words are never easier for me to say  
>Or her to second guess<br>But I guess  
>That I can live without you but<br>Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week  
>That I'll talk to you<br>And I can't speak  
>Been three whole days since I've had sleep<br>Because I dream of his lips on your cheek  
>And I got the point that I should leave you alone<br>But we both know that I'm not that strong  
>And I miss the lips that made me fly<p>

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight  
>(I know he's there)<br>You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
>(while across the room, he stares)<br>I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
>And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes<p>

Because these words are never easier for me to say  
>Or her to second guess<br>But I guess  
>That I can live without you but<br>Without you I'll be miserable  
>And I can live without you<br>But without you I'll be miserable  
>And I can live without you<br>Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

I know he is singing it to me and Sam does too. It sounds like he's finally giving up. Sam smiles "want to dance?" I raise an eyebrow. "Why not?" A slow song starts to play and we go out. His hand rests on my hip and mine stays on his chest. After a while he starts to laugh. I stare at him quizzically "what?" "Last year before St. Douche showed up, you were my date to prom." "Yeah you were. But that was before we really got to know each other. Before I learned you were ticklish, before I knew you were allergic to kumquat, before I learned you were the best man I'd ever meet." He smirks "I think that's when I started crushing on you. It was just a little crush until I got to know that you hated bananas, loved horror movies with terrible special effects and thought you were really grown on a tree until you were 6." I roll my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. "When is your set?" "I'm next. And I'm singing two songs to you and one to Finn." I stare at him shocked. "Finn!" he kisses my forehead. "Just listen to the song." We danced until just before it was time for his set and then I made Noah dance with me. I smile at his first song, knowing it was for me.

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it  
>I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted<br>I fell right through the cracks  
>And now I'm trying to get back<br>Before the cool done run out  
>I'll be giving it my bestest<br>Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
>I reckon it's again my turn, to win some or learn some<p>

But I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait, I'm yours<p>

Well open up your mind and see like me  
>Open up your plans and damn you're free<br>Look into your heart and you'll find love love love  
>Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing<br>We're just one big family  
>And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love<p>

So I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait I'm sure<br>There's no need to complicate  
>Our time is short<br>This is our fate, I'm yours  
>[ Lyrics from: .comlyrics/j/jason_mraz/im_ ]  
>And do ya want to scooch on over closer dear,<br>And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
>And bending over backwards just to try to see ya clearer<br>But my breath fogged up the glass  
>And so I drew a new face and I laughed<br>I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason  
>To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons<br>It's what we aim to do  
>Our name is our virtue<p>

I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait I'm yours<br>There's no need to complicate  
>Our time is short<br>This is our fate, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me  
>Open up your plans and damn you're free<br>Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours  
>So please don't, please don't, please don't, there's<br>No need to complicate cause our time is short this  
>Oh this oh this oh this is our fate, I'm yours<p>

I clap and cheer and Sam shoots me a wink. The next one I'm not as familiar with but Noah says it's for me. Artie helps Sam out with it though.

beautiful girls all over the world  
>I could be chasing but my time would be wasted<br>they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<br>they might say hi and I might say hey  
>but you shouldn't worry about what they say<br>cause they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<p>

not not not nothin' on you babe  
>not not nothin' on you<br>I know you feel where I'm coming from  
>regardless of the things in my past that I've done<br>most of it really was for the heck of the fun  
>on the carousel so around I spun (spun)<br>with no directions just tryna get some (some)  
>tryna chase skirts, living in the summer sun (sun)<br>this is how I lost more than I had ever won (won)  
>and honestly I ended up with none<p>

there's no much nonsense  
>it's on my conscience<br>I'm thinking baby I should get it out  
>and I don't wanna sound redundant<br>but I was wondering if there was something that you wanna know  
>(that you wanna know)<br>but never mind that we should let it go (we should let it go)  
>cause we don't wanna be a TV episode (TV episode)<br>and all the bad thoughts just let them go (go, go, go, go)

beautiful girls all over the world  
>I could be chasing but my time would be wasted<br>they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothing on you baby<br>they might say hi and I might say hey  
>but you shouldn't worry about what they say<br>cause they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<p>

not not not nothin' on you babe  
>not not nothin' on you<p>

hands down there will never be another one  
>I been around and I never seen another one<br>look at your style I ain't really got nothin' on  
>and you wild when you ain't got nothing on<br>baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxes  
>and you keep it real while them other stay plastic<br>you're my wonder women call me Mr. fantastic  
>stop.. now think about it<p>

I've been to London, I've been to Paris  
>even way out there in Tokyo<br>back home down in Georgia to new Orleans  
>but you always steal the show (steal the show)<br>.com/nothin'_on_you_lyrics_b.o.  
>and just like that girl you like a Nintendo 64 (64)<br>if you never knew well now you know (know, know, know, know)

beautiful girls all over the world  
>I could be chasing but my time would be wasted<br>they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<br>they might say hi and I might say hey  
>but you shouldn't worry about what they say<br>cause they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<p>

not not not nothin' on you babe  
>not not nothin' on you<p>

everywhere I go I'm always hearing your name (name, name)  
>and no matter where I'm at girl you make me wanna sang (sang,sang)<br>whether a bus or a plane or a car or a train  
>no other girls on my brain and you the one to blame<p>

beautiful girls all over the world  
>I could be chasing but my time would be wasted<br>they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<br>they might say hi and I might say hey  
>but you shouldn't worry about what they say<br>cause they got nothin' on you baby  
>nothin' on you baby<p>

not not not nothin' on you babe  
>not not nothin' on you<br>yeah and that's just how we do it  
>and i'ma let this ride<p>

I smile and laugh then do and sit down. Kurt smiles at me and then asks "You know he's serenading you right?" I roll my eyes "I had no idea. Where's Blaine." He answers "punch." I listen to the lyrics laughing to myself.

I know she loved you  
>A long time ago<br>I ain't jealous of you  
>Just thought you should know<p>

You were never good enough for her  
>Or anything like me<br>So you might as well sit back  
>Cuz I ain't tryin to show maturity<p>

(Chorus)  
>X is the shape I drew<br>Through your face  
>In permanent marker<br>Oh ya  
>Just like the mark you knew you were makin<br>Who do you think you are  
>To write on her heart<br>In permanent marker

I found those pictures  
>Of you in that green shirt<br>Sure had a good time  
>Cleaning up that mess<p>

sHe found 30 other pieces  
>but she'll never find them all<br>Tried to tape them back together  
>Now she knows to keep it off the wall<p>

(Chorus)  
>X is the shape I drew<p>

Through your face  
>In permanent marker<br>Oh ya  
>Just like the mark you knew you were makin<br>Who do you think you are  
>To write on her heart<br>In permanent marker

Well I don't appreciate you callin her to reminisce  
>The only reason is your seeing is how much better off she is<p>

(Chorus)  
>X is the shape I drew<br>Through your face  
>In permanent marker<br>Oh ya  
>Just like the mark you knew you were makin<br>Who do you think you are  
>To write on her heart<p>

(Chorus)  
>X is the shape I drew<br>Through your face  
>In permenant marker<br>Oh ya  
>Just like the mark you knew you were makin<br>Who do you think you are  
>To write on her heart<br>In Permanent marker  
>In permanent Marker<br>Permanent Marker

Kurt smirks "now that wasn't for you at all I hope. Are you singing tonight?" I shake my head "just back up for people. I prefer to spend tonight with Sam." He nodded "you're still basking in the I Love You glow." I shrug "why? Does it give me a glow?" someone's lips capture my cheek. "What glow? You aren't pregnant right?" I laugh "You know better than that." He pouts. "I was starting to look forward to a little divette." I raise an eyebrow at him "well you'll be waiting until I'm at least 25. I will be on Broadway." He kisses my cheek again "I know babe. Just kidding."


	8. Of Sex talks and Night terrors

That night we went to an after-party at Santana's house. Sam nursed a couple beers all night and I stuck with water. I did not want to get drunk. I danced with Tina and Brit most of the night with Sam, Mike, and San watching us. It was all nice and good fun until an already drunk Quinn showed up. I had disappeared into the kitchen with Tina for a few minutes and when I came back, Quinn was all over Sam. He was leaning back holding his arms away while she sat on his lap pressing kisses all over his throat. I was filled with rage and grabbed her by her long blonde ponytail and pulled her off of Sam. I threw her down in a corner and started hitting her. Anger clouded my judgment and finally I had to be pulled off of her. I screamed in Hebrew "HE'S MINE! YOU CRAZY BITCH KEEP AWAY FROM HIM" Sam pulled me into a corner and ran his hands down my face trying to calm me. "Rach, it's ok. She won't ever come between us I promise." My actions caught up to me as the anger faded into shame. I hit my head against his chest, "I just beat up Quinn." He stoked my hair. "It will be okay. I think its time to get you home."

He had driven his truck to my house before the limo got there so we ended up walking to my house. It wasn't far, only about 20 minutes. I saw people driving around and a couple cat called at us. Other than that we walked in a comfortable silence. Once we got to my house though, I realized Sam was already slightly drunk. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and I snatched them away. "No way are you driving drunk." He shakes his head "how am I supposed to get home then?" I shrug "I have a guest room you can stay in." then I blush because, in all honesty, Sam and I had never really talked about, well, you know, sex. I still hadn't had it but I had no clue about him. Sam smiles "I don't think that I'm up for anything other than sleeping tonight." I let out a rush of air I didn't realize I'd been holding. Then the insecurities crept into my mind. Sam has never even asked me. We'd gone to well second base but farther, no way. I wrinkle my brow. "come in, we need to talk." He purses his lips "o…k?"

We sit on my couch, facing each other. I nervously start picking at the skin around my fingers. "Well we've never talked about," I gulp down nerves "sex." His eyes widen and he mumbles "oh, yeah, well…"I continue "I am still a virgin ang I was wondering if you … were… too." Sam curses softly and runs a hand through his hair. "Rach, babe, I wish I could say I was but I'm not. Not since before I moved here. And then Santana and..." "I do NOT need to hear a full account of your sexual history Samuel. But I don't care if I'm first, as long as I'm last. But I'm definantly not saying we should do it tonight. One that would totally be betraying my dad's trust and two, I'm just not ready." Sam took my hands "I have no problem waiting. I love you and I won't dump you or force you into anything that you aren't ready for." I laugh and lighten the conversation. "Good, because Kurt keeps on expecting me to give it up like a dirty sweat sock!" Sam's nose wrinkles and then he laughs. "but now that we've cleared that little matter up, if the offer for a place to sleep tonight is still open.." I kiss his cheek "of course it is."

That night, Sam learns another one of my secrets. I have horrible night terrors. They are like nightmares that you can't wake up from. For some reason the events of the previous night trigger one. I am standing in the middle of a misty field surrounded by woods. A snap resonates behind my back and I turn towards it. Then another. I'm surrounded on all sides by looming dark shadowy figures. One has a light girlish laugh and reaches for me. I start to run, my skin being torn at by branches or the fingers of the shades. I suddenly am in my bedroom and the shades are here too. I scream and scrabble and their hands tighten around my waist. I pull away and Hands grab my shoulders. I scream and flail my hands around until I hear it make impact and I am released. Then, I start to run. I am caught again and picked up. They carry me towards the bathroom and I know they are going to drown me. I scramble even more and the shadow almost drops me. Water hits my face and I return enough to realize what had been happening. I take deep gulping breathes and Sam is standing over me, his nose bleeding. I sit numbly in the cold water while he plugs his nose up with a ball of toilet paper. He finally reaches over and turns off the water. I stand up with shaking knees and grab a towel. He loosely grips my wrist and pulls me to sit on his lap. I pull my knees to my chest and hold his shirt in a double death grip. "Are you ok Rachel?" I nod and choke out. "it was some thing called a ni- night" he interrupts me. "I know. Stacy gets them every once in a while. That's how I knew what to do. The second I saw your face, I knew." He kisses my hair line and picks me up bridal style and carries me back to my bed. I refuse to release my grip on his shirt. "Don't send me back into that alone." He sighs and lies down next to me holding me close.

The next Friday:

"I can't believe you Sam! How _dare_ you accuse me of that?"

"Is it really such a starch of the imagination? You cheated on Finn with him! You came seconds away from cheating on Jesse with him! You DATED him! Now you're cheating on ME with him!"

"God dammit Sam! You are so STUPID! I'm through with this! I'm through with Lima! I'm through. With. YOU!"

**Well your guys are probably really confused and angry, but I thought I'd give you a sneak peak of the next chapter. Which is about half done. I promise it will have an explanation of how in the world this happened and most of you can figure out who the other guy is. However, first person to name him in reviews gets naming rights to one of the children in the epilogue. But the next chapter will be put up sooner than later but with more time in between than I have previously done. And I may get really inspired or loose my muse completely depending on the results of an audition that gets posted next week. Love you all! **

**~Free My Mind~**


	9. Of Suspisions and Break ups

A/n this one will be told with both Rachel and Sam's Pov so you see what is really happening and what Sam sees happening. So **Sam's pov. **_Rachel's pov. _Got it?

Monday

_When I walk into the glee room the Monday morning after prom, I walk in on a sight I have only seen once before. Noah was crying. His head was buried in his hands and tears were freefalling. I walk over to him and place a hand on his knee. "Noah, what's wrong?" He quickly wipes the tears away and tries to put on a tough face. "No-nothing." "Noah, please tell me. I want to help you" He sighs, tears returning to his eyes. "Sarah has leukemia." I gasp. Sarah, Noah's ten year old little sister is the sweetest girl in the world. The idea that this could happen to her is horrifying. "Oh, Noah, is there anything I can do?" He shakes his head. "I'm driving her to Cleveland tomorrow. They don't have the needed facilities to take her at Lima General. Mom would take her but she's working a lot of extra shifts because the insurance won't cover it all." I take his hand in mine "please tell me if you need anything. YOU will right?" he nodded and then laughed slightly "You can be as scary as my mom if you try. I'll let you know." Then other people start to come in and we shift into normal positions. I kiss Sam's cheek as he sits next to me._

**After glee, where we picked our numbers for nationals, Rachel and I got up to head to my truck so I could drive her home when Puckerman calls out "Rach, can I talk to you?" Rachel glances at me and says "I'll meet you at the truck. This will just take a second." I nod and kiss her forehead. As I leave I see Puck reach out for one of Rachel's hands. That's really weird. I wonder what's up with Puck.**

Tuesday

_After school I have to take care of something with Noah, San. Can you tell Mr. Schue for me?" She nods. I turn back to my English teacher's lesson and catch Sam's gaze across the classroom. I smile back. I wish I could tell San why we weren't going to be at glee but Noah asked me not to tell too many people. Sarah didn't want any of her friends to know and a lot of them had older siblings here. He asked me to ride with him when he dropped Sarah off because he didn't want to be alone for so long. I don't think I would either. Noah practically is Sarah's dad. Their real dad walked out before Sarah was even born. This was wearing hard on him and I want to do everything I can to get them both through this. The bell rings at last and I head out to meet Noah at his car. He shows up a couple minutes later and hugs me. "Thank you for coming." I smile "I think you really need a friend right now and I'm glad that I can help."_

**When I don't see Rach before Glee, I get a little surprised. I go on towards the choir room expecting her to already be there and she's just not. Schue closes the door behind me and then looks around surprised. "Where are Rachel and Puck?" Santana answers "Rach said she and Puck had to do something after school." I glance at her. Why did she know and not me? "Do you know where they went Santana?" She snorts "Didn't ask. Probably some weird-ass Jew thing. Can't you keep track of your own girl?" I wrinkle my face in confusion. Why wouldn't Rach have told me about that? I pull out my phone and texts "hey, where are you?" She doesn't respond. She always responds. **

_Wednesday:_

_When I get to school the next day, I'm exhausted. Noah and I didn't get back to Lima until 11:00 last night. We weren't supposed to stay that long, just long enough for Sarah to get settled in but Noah was so reluctant to leave, it was hard to tear him away. He was obviously extremely worried. My heart hurt for them. It was lucky Noah has improved his GPA enough to get a full ride at NYU with Sam; apparently they offered him the same deal. I greet Sam by my locker as my daddy drove me to school today. I kiss his cheek and whisper "hey." He smiles a small smile and reaches out and gently rubs the dark circles under my eyes. "God, what did you and Puck do last night? You look so tired." I chuckle lightly and improvise "we had something to do for temple. Time got away from us." His smile widens for some reason but I brush it off. No drama. Sam kisses my forehead and I smile and stand on my toes trying to reach his lips. He bends down to help me and then takes my books. _

_After school, we do glee practice and Noah asks me halfway through a dance routine if I'll help him find a song for Sarah. I smile "Noah, that's so sweet. Of course I will. Meet me in the glee room before school tomorrow." He shrugs "do you need a ride? I know Sam normally drives you but if you want to be here earlier, I can get you easily." I smile, "that would be really nice."_

**When Rachel confirms that morning that it was just a thing with her church, temple, whatever,****I can't help but be relaxed. I know she and Puck have a past and I don't want to be that chump again. It is a much further stretch for me to believe that Rachel would do it to me, but it's just a little voice that won't stop nagging me. ****That's when during glee, when I see her and Puck talking and her voice, which I am so attuned to I could her it from a mile away I bet, floats towards me and I hear "that's so sweet. Of course I will. Meet me in the glee room tomorrow." My little demon voice chants "she's cheating, she's cheating." Rachel runs over a little while later and says "hey, I don't need you to pick me up tomorrow. Noah and I are going to need to be at school a little early so he's picking me up." I ask "What are you guys working on?" This time, I watch her face and notice the slight tension I saw when I sat in on one of her acting classes and they had to improvise. "I'm tutoring him in Pre-cal. We have a big test tomorrow and I want to get some good review in." then Schue calls out that glee Practice is done until tomorrow. I kiss her gently and remind her "You know I love you right?" Rachel beams and says "I love you too. Now, go to football practice. San's driving me home." I shake my head as she walks off to Satan. I had to see for myself what was going on. **

_Thursday:_

_Noah and I are in the glee room before he reveals to me that he has found a song that might work. I nod and gently perch on a chair to listen. _

_Come stop your cryin'  
>and we'll be alright<br>Just take my hand, hold it tight.  
>I will protect from all around you,<br>I will be here dont you cry.  
>For one so small, you seem so strong.<br>My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm,  
>This bond between us cant be broken,<br>I will be here dont you cry_

_CHORUS:  
>'Cos you'll be in my heart,<br>yes you'll be in my heart,  
>From this day on now and forever more.<em>

_You'll be in my heart,  
>No matter what they say,<br>You'll be here in my heart,  
>Always.<em>

_Why can't they understand the way we feel,  
>They just don't trust what they cant explain.<br>How know your different  
>Deep inside us, where not that different at all.<em>

_CHORUS:  
>And you'll be in my heart,<br>yes you'll be in my heart,  
>From this day on now and forever more.<em>

_Don't listen to them, 'cos what do they know.(what do they know)  
>We need each other, to have to hold.<br>They'll see in time, I know._

_When destiny calls you, you must be strong  
>(you godda be strong)<br>I may not be with you, but you got to hold on.  
>They'll see in time, I know.<em>

_That your there together 'cos_

_You'll be in my heart,  
>Believe me,<br>You'll be in my heart.  
>I'll be there from this day on,<br>now and forever more.  
>Ooh you'll be in my heart<br>(you'll be here in my heart)  
>No matter what they say<br>(I'll be with you)  
>You'll be here in my heart<br>(I'll be there)  
>Always<em>

_Always  
>I'll be with you,<br>I'll be there for you always  
>Always and always.<br>Just look over your shoulder x3  
>I'll be there always<em>.

_I grin and run to hug Noah, who is tearing up again slightly. "That was absolutely beautiful. It's perfect." He grins. "She wants to see you this weekend. Think you can come with me?" I nod "of course. Has your mom managed to go see her yet?" He nods "she went last night." We continue to talk about his family until its almost time to get to class. Sam is absent that day._

**I get to school that morning and stand outside the glee room. I come just in time to hear Puck singing. My hands clench. I hope and pray that maybe she'll tell him, "I have a boyfriend" but instead I hear "that was beautiful" and I see them embrace. I skip school that day because the sight of either of them makes me furious.**

Friday: (neutral pov.)

Rachel is in the glee room when Sam comes in. It's about 5 minutes before the bell should ring. "Hey Sam, where were you yesterday?" He doesn't respond. He just stares at her. "Rachel, do you know how much it hurt that Quinn cheated on me?" She turns, surprise etched on her face. "Of course." "Then why would you?" Rachel's jaw drops.

"what are you talking about, Samuel?"

"I'm talking about how you have been sneaking around with Puckerman all week."

"You did not just accuse me of that."

"What, did you think I didn't see you two going off and having secret conversations, the way you've been looking at him, lying about what you two have been doin' together. I heard him sing you a god-damn love song! It's Quinn all over again!"

"I can't believe you Sam! How _dare_ you accuse me of that?"

"Is it really such a starch of the imagination? You cheated on Finn with him! You came seconds away from cheating on Jesse with him! You DATED him! Now you're cheating on ME with him!"

"God dammit Sam! You are so STUPID! I'm through with this! I'm through with Lima! I'm through. With. YOU!"

She ran out into the now empty hallway. He followed.

"Yeah, I am stupid! Stupid for ever having LOVED YOU!"

"Sam, stop right there. You know nothing! Got it? You want to know why I've been spending so much time with Noah? His LITTLE SISTER has LUKEIMIA! If that was Stacy, wouldn't you want someone there for you? God, Sam, I just, its, you know what, just forget it. I can't do this. Not here, Not now."

As she stormed out, tears streaming, Sam buried his face in his hands.


	10. Of Rejections and Scary Rachel

Over the weekend, I stayed with Noah, as my dad's were out of town and when he went to drop me off, I saw that Sam was waiting for me to get home. I couldn't deal with him right then. I was mad and hurt and everything felt like it was going wrong again. I refused to redo Finn. I want to go to him and act like none of this ever happened but it has. And that can't be swept under the rug. I will not abandon Noah, who has had to give up NYU so he could join the army to support his sister. I know that boys are jealous, but I can't stand for that. I will not be accused of something that could have been so easily explained. By the time I walk into school the next morning, my mind is made up.

I don't see him until lunch, but by then it's too late. Kurt comes into the cafeteria, joyously dragging me to the courtyard. The sound of guitars and I groan and try to run away. Kurt holds me there and Sam comes out and he and Noah are playing guitar with Blaine singing back up. Noah mouths "he begged" I know he is as mad as I am about the accusations. Then Sam starts singing and I groan, knowing I'm gonna have to be a villain at the end of this.

A strangled smile fell from your face  
>It kills me that I hurt you this way<br>The worst part is that I didn't even know  
>Now there's a million reasons for you to go<br>But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes  
>To turn this around<br>I know what's at stake  
>I know that I've let you down<br>And if you give me a chance  
>Believe that I can change<br>I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work  
>You gotta let me inside even though it hurts<br>Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"  
>She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be<br>You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes  
>To turn this around<br>I know what's at stake  
>I know that I've let you down<br>And if you give me a chance  
>And give me a break<br>I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt  
>That I'd be lost without you and never find myself<br>Let's hold onto each other above everything else  
>Start over, start over<br>He comes to me and takes my hand to sing the last chorus, my resolve almost breaks.  
>I'll do whatever it takes<br>To turn this around  
>I know what's at stake<br>I know I've let you down  
>And if you give me a chance<br>and believe that I can change  
>I'll keep us together whatever it takes<p>

He is grinning as if he's sure I'll take him back and I now know how Brit felt when Artie sang to her last year. I groan, "Sam, don't make me do this here. Please just wait until we are alone." His smile falters only slightly. "Rachel, please, I love you. I'm so sorry. Come on. Can't we just forget it happened?" I stood and jerked my hand away. "No, Samuel. We can't. Just listen to me. I am not the little girl that ran back to Finn the second he sang me a song." "I know you ar-" "Listen to me. I am done with this. Until you grow up enough to realize what exactly you did wrong, I'm done with this. I don't even know if I'll take you back then." I turn to leave "Come on Rachel, don't be like that." My fury unrestrained, expression such that he backs up a little, I snarl "Leave me alone, Samuel David Evans. Do not sing to me, do not talk to me, and do not even look at me. You did not think before you acted and now you must accept the consequences. Losing me is only one of them. Did you even think about how your accusations would affect Noah? Did you think about how now I can barely look at you might affect glee? Did you think about how that would affect our group dynamic? Did you think about anything other than your wounded pride or how you didn't want to be that guy again? NO! And I am done. I don't care anymore. Just leave me alone." I turned and yelled "MOVE" into the crowd that had gathered around.

"  
>Your telling me that it is 3 and a half weeks until nationals and my two leads are REFUSING TO SING" Santana looked him straight in the eyes. "Yup." He Stared at us exasperatedly. "And why not?" I piped up "Because Samuel Made a foolish and cruel accusation and he crossed several lines and I cannot and will not sing with him." Noah who was sitting next to me added "actually she told him not to even look at her and if you saw her face you'd be listening even better than Evans because he keeps on looking over here when he thinks neither Rach nor I are looking." Quinn looks over at how Noah has his arm draped over the back of my chair. "So are you and Puck together now?" Everyone stares at us now, even Schue. "No. Noah and I are friends. No more. Right now, I need a boyfriend like I need a hole in my head." She smiles kindly at me which is confusing. I turn back to the matter at hand. "You either need to reassign the male or female lead as we do not have time to completely redo everything and as Finn and I are bared from singing together due to last years fiasco I recommend Noah or Blaine with me or Samuel and Sunshine or Mercedes, relying on vocal prowess and chemistry. If you do really choose to redo it over I recommend Santana and Noah." MR. Schue sighed, "I guess your right Rachel. For our opening number, you and Puck will lead and for the group number Mercedes will take your solo. But let me say, I am extremely disappointed in you and Sam. You are letting your personal feelings affect everyone." Santana cut in "let me just say, if we didn't need trouty lips over there, you'd probably be in surgery because I don't stand for guys accusing mierda like that to my girls. Specially not when they're helping one of my boys." Mr. Schue sighed "Santana, I am a Spanish teacher. But let's just get to work." I went to San later, "Thank you for sticking up for me." She unexpectedly hugs me. "You're my girl Berry. Don't even worry about him anymore." I chuckle and we start redoing the dances.<p> 


	11. Author's Note To Coward

A/N. Okay. So I got a review from someone not even brave enough to sigh it so I could respond and let me just say a few things.

A. I am only a teenager. I have several afterschool activities, barely any time to myself, and writing is my relaxation. I glad if people read and like it, but for right now, I don't give a monkey butt if anyone reads it.

B. I have no time to put super detail into everything I write. I just barely have time to type this up as I write it during free time at school.

C. I don't have a beta, nor do I have a ton of time to find one. If anyone is interested they can message me.

D. I would love to be able to write as well as your "rough" work. But I can't right now. Deal with it.

E. this story is happening during the SENIOR year, As in Sam's SECOND year in Lima. And, as I said, I am only a teenager. I do not have a clue as to the little details.

Finally, F. in case you didn't see the reviews previously left, THEY LIKE IT. I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to your high standards, but I'm pleased with it and will go back and re-edit it when the time makes itself available. Most likely during WINTER BREAK at the soonest.

So, whoever you are I have several choice words for you and if I saw you right now, I would be screaming them at you and most likely, one or more of my friends would be making you bleed before you could blink twice. I get that you _think _you are trying to be helpful, but next time, do NOT criticize me where everyone can see it. That is one sure way, to make me mad and therefore not listen to your "helpful" critics.

Sincerely,

Free _**MY**_ Mind


	12. Of Avoidance and Jealousy

Week one after the Breakup:

Sam continues to ignore me. We sit in the same room. We participate in the same conversations. WE laugh at the same jokes. But we might as well be invisible to each other. Kurt and Cedes try to talk to me about him and I stop them. The one thing I finally say that makes them shut up is, "Imagine you find the one person who heals you and makes you an overall better person. Imagine you trusted them with your darkest secret. Imagine they saw you at your most vulnerable. Now imagine that same person who knew all of that about you accused you of something that someone who barely knows you know you wouldn't do. That is part of why I'm so mad." The truth is the other part, I can't figure out until I talk with Brittney, who is surprisingly insightful. "You set him up as the perfect guy because he always seemed to be. And then he fell off the horse. You can't fall in love with only the perfect parts of someone. You have to fall in love with their flaws. Like for example, some people think that San's defensiveness is a flaw. I know it as one of the reasons I love her the most. I also love Mr. tubbingtons chubbiness." I laugh and smile. Maybe we all underestimate Brittney a little. Then she turns to me and says "My cat ate my I pod. Now its stomach sings to me." And I think maybe we don't underestimate her _that_ much.

Week two after the Breakup:

Sam has started hanging around Cheerios. A red head appears to be his favorite. I try to ignore it. I don't care I tell myself. But in truth, it makes me mad. So, I start wearing my really sexy outfits' to school. The type of outfits I generally saved for when I wanted to see Sam's jaw drop. I openly flirt with the guys who start to follow me around slack-jawed. I make him jealous. By Thursday though, Noah and Kurt are fed up with it. "Berry, what is up with you? Your dressing like your going to a club instead of school, your leading guys on when everyone knows that you are still hung up on Sam, and you were looking like you were about to kill Kerri." I flip my long hair over my shoulder, "I have no clue what you mean. I am simply getting a fresh start after a break up. That simply means I am making a few changes. And _who _may I ask is Kerri?" Kurt glares at me, eyebrows arched inquisitively, "Kerri as in the redhead cheerio you've been stabbing with your thoughts alone every time you see her. And honey, we know you well enough to know that you're trying to make Sam jealous. Trust us it's worked. Now it needs to stop or I will tear up and burn all the fabulous clothes I got you." I shake my head and huff. "Why does he make me care so much?" Kurt hugs me. "If I knew I would tell you. But for now, let's just try to get through the school year."

Week Three after the Breakup:

We spend every free second on the performances. Which means every free second with Sam. We continue to act like we don't know the other exists. I want to stretch my arms out and take him back, but I can't. When I walk in on him with _Kerri,_ though, I snap. I ranted in Hebrew for 10 minutes, Noah whispering translations to Kurt, Tina and San in hushed tones. By their shocked expressions, Mr. Schue figures out I really shouldn't be saying what I was and stopped me. "You guys, we are going to new York in two days. Start acting professional for god's sake!" We all nod and agree. But I see san threaten to circumcise Sam if he didn't stop being such a _polla._ It's Friday when a small note floated out of my locker.

I know it's too late and you don't care but I'm sorry. Puck is getting all of my solos. I quit glee. I'm sorry again. I wish I could have had another chance. I still do love you Rachel. I think I might always love you. Good luck with Nationals and stuff.

Sam.

I crumple it up and sink to the floor with my back to the lockers, mad at the world.


	13. Of Confritation and Tears

**A/N Okay nationals will be the next chapter but I still need songs. I have a back up plan but I really want to get my readers input into the song choices. I want something kinda epic. Not just a regular boring song, I want something like the songs they have done for previous competitions but I can't write my own. So if you read this story I expect you to give me at least one song. Oh and I want a Lady A. song to fit how they are after the story if anyone knows their music well enough to help me out!**

**And I apologize for my rant a little while ago. I just got mad and felt the need to defend myself and I chose a bad format. It is unfair that I made you guys read that when this should just be a good story. I had planned on them getting back together last chapter but I was so angry still, they, well, didn't. **

**OK, one more thing before this ends and the story continues. I have written a one-shot with puckleberry, fintana, and bartie pairings called Remember Them and am starting on a puckleberry story called speak now or forever hold your peace. Reading them would make me happy. ;) ok now my rambling's done.**

I glare at Sam from across the English room. How could he do that? How could he just quit like that. It's Monday and we've all been trying to get him to talk to any of us. Even I called him a couple times. He glances in my direction and then quickly turns back to his work. I walk to the tissue box, conveniently next to Samuel's desk and I slip a note on to it.

The bell rings shortly after and I leave, heading towards the empty auditorium. I skip my last class, and he doesn't come. I wait until just before glee was supposed to start, and then I turn to go and see him standing there. "How long have you been here?" His face is sad and serious as he softly says, "only a few minutes. I just wanted to see your face before it becomes set in permanent hate around me." We stare at each other; I am mad and yet feel a sense of relief at his presence. Finally one word pushes past my dry tongue and tight lips. "Why?"

Sam shakes his hair out of his eyes. "because I knew that we couldn't keep living as we were. I was trying to do anything I could to make you see that you really did want to be with me. And the way I did it hurt you. Just like the way you were trying to prove to me you didn't need me hurt me. We have become like fire and gasoline. And I knew that glee would have become consumed and destroyed in that same fire that burned between us. I didn't want that." His hands are stuck nervously and awkwardly in his pocket and I glances at me eyes speaking words he couldn't. Yet the fact that he could wax so poetic about us being dysfunctional sparks a flame in me. "You are a coward Samuel Evans. I thought you'd come in here, and tell me that you quit for a sweet stupid reason. Or maybe you'd actually be honest. But I was a fool. You are not the man I thought you were." Sam's eyes flash with a emotion he's never directed at me, anger. "You want the truth? The truth is that I HATE that I love you so much. I HATE the way it feels to see ANY guy look at you the way I do. I HATE that I can't stop it. What do you want to know? Do you want to know that I dreamed about our children last night? Do you want to know that I still remember the feeling of your body next to mine from the night after prom? Do you want to know that no matter how hard I try I can't get you out of my mind? I quit glee because it hurts me to be so near you and not be able to even smile at you! God, Rachel what do you want from me?" I have tears in my eyes from a multitude of emotions I could not explain. I whisper the truth, unable to say anything else. "I want you to kiss me, at least once more."

He only pauses for a millisecond before quickly closing the space in between us, cradling my face in his hands, and gently meeting our lips. They move in a dance only they know, both of us leading. My tears finally fall and we are soon wrapped in each others arms. Our gentle embraces, whispered words, and sweet kisses slowly but surely wipe away the pain and anger that had built in us. All of our walls fall away and I know that Brittney is right. I don't love Sam for his looks or voice. I love him for the way he feels to much. I love him for the way he is fiercely competitive. I love him for the hidden insecurities he has. I meet his eyes and gently whisper, "I think that you're the one, Sam." His sweet kiss is followed by, "I know you are." Then for some reason, I begin to cry. He just holds me to his chest and lets me.

We come into the glee rehearsal 15 minutes late and nobody says anything about it, about Sam being with me, or about the tight grip we keep on each others hands. Mr. Schue's grim face becomes slightly less worn looking. "That's why we're starting on all new songs for Nationals today!" I lean over to Kurt and whisper "why are we?" Kurt's eyes flick back and forth from me to Sam before whispering, "Because Sue put a recording of our rehearsals online. We have to start from scratch." I swear and Mr. Schue doesn't even bother yelling at me.

**A/N (again) Ok, so well, I've never been in love so all my little this is what love is like drabble on here, is based off of how its described in books and to me by my friends. If you feel it is wrong, please give me your description of what love is like**


	14. Of Nationals and Tear Drops

**A/n I have decided to make a sequel (maybe even a trilogy) to this and if you want a happy ending don't keep reading I'll just summarize the happy ending I would have put. They win at nationals, she auditions for wicked while in New York and gets in and after he sings her Go by BLG and proposes she goes. They have a happy family with Twin daughters named Ginger and Joanna. For the rest of you here's the rest of my story.**

My jaw clenched, I sit and watch some school from North Carolina called Massey Hill Classical do our routines. When they get to what would have been MY solo I get up and walk out of the theatre. Santana follows me. My coral lace dress flows around my legs as I start to run. I'm soon outside the theatre on the sidewalk; the constant jolts of impact hit my legs. She grabs my shoulders. "Stop it you _perra loca." _

My breathing starts to return to normal and San leads me to a bench. "Why did you run?" I blink multiple times, "I- I just didn't want to start screaming. I wanted to though. I just figured that this would be more productive." She snorts, "Well Ms. Productive, my feets hurt cause you made me run in these stupid heels. Can we go back now?" I nod and shake my shoulders out. "would you laugh if you said I was nervous?" She smirks and then yells "STOP THE PRESSES! RACHEL BERRY"S NERVOUS!" I roll my eyes and head back to the theatre.

When we walk in I see Sam's waiting for me. San whispers something to him before going inside. He is gently laughing as he takes my hand.

"What did Santana say?"

"She told me to calm you down. In a very interesting manner."

I groan and lay my head on his arm. "I swear the only people who haven't tried to pressure me into sex are you and Noah." He kisses my forehead and then I feel his body begin to sag. I stare at his face and see it's very dejected and sad. I could tell that he hadn't been fully here the past few days and now it's very obvious that something's wrong. "Sam, are you ok?" he briefly kisses me and grins sadly. "Yeah. I love you babe." I grin and not so innocently pull our entire bodies together for another kiss. I don't want to ruin this with something I imagined.

Sam and I stand on stage, the curtain is about to ascend. I gently brush a piece of hair out of his eyes and he captures my hand against his face. "I wish it could always be like this." I wrinkle my brow "What do you mean Sam? Is something wrong?" He suddenly takes my mouth in his, I surrender control. He pulls away after Noah hisses from the side of the stage, "10 seconds." We go to positions and begin. (**Sam,**_ Rachel, _both

)

**Traffic cars, cell phone calls, top video screams at me  
>Through my tender window I see a little girl, rust red minivan<strong>  
><em>She's got chocolate on her face, got little hands<br>And she waves at me, yeah, she smiles at me_

_Well, hello world_, **how've you been**?  
>Good to see you, my old friend<br>_Sometimes I feel cold as steel_  
><strong>Broken like I'm never gonna heal<strong>  
><strong>I see a light, <strong>_little hole in the little girl_  
><strong>Well, hello world<strong>

_Every day I drive by a little white church  
>It's got these little white crosses like angels in the yard<em>  
><strong>Maybe I should stop on in and say a prayer<br>Maybe talk to God like he is there**  
><strong>Oh, I know He's there<strong>, _yeah_, **I know He's there**

_Well, hello world,_ _how've you been?_  
><strong>Good to see you, my old friend<br>**Sometimes I feel as cold as steel**  
>And broken like I'm never gonna heal<strong>  
><em>I see a light, little grace,<em> **little faith unfurl  
>Well, hello world<br>**

New Directions walks out on stage behind us and starts harmonizing.

_Sometimes I forget what living's for  
>And I hear my life through my front door<em>  
><em>And I'll be there, oh, I'm home again<br>_  
><strong>I see my wife, little boy, little girl<br>Hello world, hello world  
><strong>  
><strong>Oh, the empty disappears<strong>  
><em>I remember why I'm here<em>  
><strong>To surrender and believe<br>I fall down on my knees**  
>Oh hello world, hello world, hello world<p>

I notice a slight glimmer of a tear on Sam's cheek but we have o quickly move into positions for the next song.

Tell me have you ever wanted  
>Someone so much it hurts?<br>Your lips keep trying to speak  
>But you just can't find the words<br>Well I had this dream once;  
>I held it in my hands(Sam)<p>

She was the purest beauty  
>But not the common kind<br>She had a way about her  
>That made you feel alive<br>And for a moment  
>You made the world stand still(Noah)<p>

Yeah we owned the night(Santana)

You had me dim the lights;  
>You danced just like a child<br>The wine spilled on your dress  
>And all you did was smile<br>Yeah, it was perfect  
>I hold it in my mind(Rachel)<p>

Yeah, we owned the night(Santana)

When the summer rolls around  
>And the sun starts sinking down<br>I still remember you(Noah and Rachel)  
>Oh, I remember you<br>And I wonder where you are  
>Are you looking at those same stars again?<br>Do you remember when?(Sam and Santana)  
>We woke under a blanket<br>All tangled up in skin  
>Not knowing in that moment<br>We'd never speak again(Sam and Rachel  
>But it was perfect;<br>I never will forget(Noah and Santana)  
>When we owned the night(Boys)<br>Yeah, we owned the night(girls)

The audience started cheering and we got a standing ovation. Once off stage we all wrap each other in a huge group hug. I breathlessly chuckle when Noah spins me around in a hug. Until I see Sam's face turn grey and see him sit down as if his legs gave out. My mouth goes gray and I move next to him. My first aid training kicks in and I feel for his pulse, which is racing. I brush his hair out of his face and he is cold and clammy. I meet his eyes. "Samuel, tell me what is wrong right now." It is an order, not a request. Finn hands him a bottle of water and then, after a nod from Sam, motions for me to go away from the group as he shakily moves to the entrance hall. "Do you know what's wrong, Finn?" He nods, "Sam has a brain tumor. The only reason I know is that I drove him to the doctor that day." I nod relief going through me a little, "well, that's good. They're operable." But he is shaking his head before I even finish talking. "Its not, Rach. He'll be gone before this time next year. That's why he quit glee. He wanted a clean break for you. But your pretty damn hard to resist." My hands are shaking and I go over to Sam. He just holds out his arms and, even though it should have been me comforting him, pulls me into his lap. I curl into a ball, not even letting myself go see if we got into the top ten. Kurt runs over, "WE GOT IN!" and I perk up a little. He notices "will you two even be able to sing?" Sam's voice is forceful. "We **will** be singing. What was our place?" Kurt smiles devilishly, "Second." This finally brings me too and I stand up, "let's win this thing." Sam wraps me in his arms from behind, "there's my Rach."

The showcase song is my favorite, The Real Thing by Boys Like Girls.

**Jamie's in love  
>She's got the summer blowing through her hair<br>She turns it up  
>She says tonight you take me anywhere<strong> (Rachel)  
><em>Bobby's in luck<br>He got a fire burning in his eyes  
>He turns it up<br>And he says girl you better hold on tight (Sam)  
><em>  
>Cause this is the real thing (Noah)<br>Love changes everything (everyone)  
>This is the night when every heart's exploding<br>The real thing  
>Slow down it's happening<br>'Cause you got time to burn in the heat of the moment  
>That summer radio<br>Fireworks off the patio  
>A 3 AM string of green lights in a row<br>And the real thing  
>Love can change anything<br>If you can just let go (let's go!)  
>(The real thing, the real thing)<p>

**Jamie's alive  
>She's got him rushing through her veins tonight (Finn)<strong>  
><em>So hit the lights<br>It feels too good to ever say goodbye_ (Quinn)

Whoa  
>Can't pull the brakes on this runaway train<br>'Cause whoa  
>This is the heartache that won't go away<p>

_Yeah, Jamie's in love  
>She's got the summer blowing through her hair<em> (sam and rachel.)

Just let go  
>Jamie just let go<br>(The real thing, the real thing)

Then, soon, we are on the stage. The top 3 are called. We are among them. Then, as Sam crushes me to his chest, they call third. Not us. Finally, the world seems to pause, each of my heartbeats lasting an hour. Then I hear, "THE NEW DIRECTIONS!" and we all start screaming. Sam's smile actually reaches his eyes. And everything is perfect. We go back to the hotel and as we sit on the couch, watching our friends celebrate, he lets me lay my head in his lap. Because as happy as I am we won, I would give it up in a second if I could give Sam another chance. I know that we will have to have a serious conversation soon. But for now, being right here is where I need to be. I blink a single tear, and stare at the dark spot it leaves on Sam's worn jeans. Sam strokes my hair, murmuring something to Santana I don't quite hear. Then, she is pulling me off of Sam, and damn is she strong. "Come on chika. Let's get you in bed." 

**A/n I know**** all of you are probably mad, but Rachel will get her happy ending eventually.** **Please please please review. Oh and Happy 17****th**** to my friend who I know is reading this story.**


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